


Missing You

by 1love4ever



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-15 07:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8047234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1love4ever/pseuds/1love4ever
Summary: “Hey.” You close your eyes when you hear that voice. It’s been days since you heard it and even then it wasn’t telling you anything you wanted to hear. Just more heartbreak.“Go away.” You’re surprised by your own demand. For almost three months you’ve wanted nothing more to be in her presence. For her to hold you and talk to you and just be with you. But now…now you are so confused.





	1. Chapter 1

“Where’s Emma?”

That’s the first thing people ask when you show up to the back to school party at your best friend Ruby Lucas house. It hurts you to hear her name but you don’t fault them because they don’t know. You’ve kind of been in hiding since the end of school year. Since the breakup. The only people that know is Ruby and Kathrine. You’re sure Emma has told her best friend August, but you haven’t seen August to confirm your theory. You’ve been in a bubble all summer. In denial. But now that you are out and about everything is feeling more real by the moment.  
You really did get your heart broken.

“I’m not sure.” You don’t give them too much time to register your words before making your way to the kitchen to grab a drink. Usually you’re not much of a drinker, but you feel like you are going to need it tonight.

Tonight is the first time you will be seeing Emma in person since the day she left to visit her dad in Boston for the summer. Emma has spent the summer with her dad every summer since seventh grade. And every year her departure is emotional for both of you. But this past year you were not only crying because you would miss her but also because you knew that when she left this time everything would be different. You wouldn’t be spending your summer nights on the phone until two in the morning or sending endless text message to each other throughout the day. The only thing that would be the same is you missing her.  
But this time you’re not sure she’ll be doing the same.

Flashback

“I should go. I need to go.” 

You see her lips moving but you can’t hear the words over your beating heart. You feel like you are about to explode. You’ve been at her house since eight this morning. You had dinner with her mom and then followed her to her room where you watched her continue to pack. Her dad got into town a couple of nights ago and planned on being on the road by noon today.

“I...” You stand up from the bed and block the door. Emma’s barely making eye contact with you. It makes you feel even sicker. “Emma…this…” You reach your hand out to grab her hand. She lets you. “We’re not really doing this, right? We’re still together, right?”

“Regina.” She looks away again. 

“I don’t want space. I don’t…I’m yours, your mine. Remember?” She refuses to make eye contact with you and its driving you crazy.

“Fucking look at me?!” Emma jumps. You’re not sure if it’s the surprise of you using a swear word or the tone of your voice. Either way it gets her attention and those green eyes are piercing into yours. 

You start to open your mouth again but her dads booming voice calls up the stairs. He asked for Emma to come down stairs ten minutes ago. You know your time is running out.

“I have to go.” She squeezes your hand before letting go. “I’ll text you when I get there.” She kisses your cheek before walking out the door.

You spend the rest of the day with your phone close to you, waiting for her to call you and tell you she made a mistake. It’s almost half past nine at night when she sends you a simple message letting you know they’ve made it safely to her dad’s home. You don’t hear from her for the next three days. 

End of Flashback

“You can relax. She’s not here.” Kathrine flops down on the couch next to you.

“Yet.” You add. Emma never misses a party if she doesn’t have to. She’s been in town for a week now and most of her time has been consumed with soccer. At least as far as you know.

“We can leave if you want. And I’m sure Ruby will let her know she’s not welcomed if that’s what you want.” Kathrine tries to ease your worries about seeing your ex. “Whatever you need, babe.”

“No. it’s fine.”

It’s not until three drinks in and a few hours later that you see her. She’s in the corner with a beer in her hand while talking and laughing with August and a few people you know she plays with on the soccer team. She looks happy and that crushes you. It’s like she is not worried at all about bumping into you. It’s like she can care less that she broke your heart and then left a week later like you meant nothing to her.

“That bitch. I didn’t invite her.” Ruby reassures you when she sees what or who, has your attention. “I’ll kick her out.”

You grab onto the back of Ruby’s shirt before she can go and make a scene. Emma and her have always gotten along but Ruby was your best friend way before Emma came into the picture. She’s one of the most loyal people you know, so before she even heard the reasoning behind the break up, she was all team Regina. 

“Don’t. It’s fine.”

“But come on, like who the fuck even does that. She’s barely spoken to you and then has the nerve to show up at my party. Bullshit.”  
People start to stare as Ruby’s drunken voice gets louder. Emma and her friends look over.

“Shit.” You grab Ruby’s hand and exit the living room.

“Why are we the ones running? She’s the one that should be hiding.”

“Ruby, stop,” You sigh. You know you are close to crying. You just don’t want to talk about it anymore. 

“Oh Regina.” Ruby hugs your side. “You need a drink. I’ll be back.”Five minutes pass and Ruby’s not back yet. You’re not surprised. She’s had a few drinks. It doesn’t take much for her to get distracted. 

“Hey.” You close your eyes when you hear that voice. It’s been days since you heard it and even then it wasn’t telling you anything you wanted to hear. Just more heartbreak.

“Go away.” You’re surprised by your own demand. For almost three months you’ve wanted nothing more to be in her presence. For her to hold you and talk to you and just be with you. But now…now you are so confused.

“Gina.”

“Don’t.” You only ever let her call you that. You’re not big on people shorting your name but Emma. You would let Emma do and call you anything. Your love for her has no boundaries. 

Except tonight. 

You can barely walk straight. You don’t want to imagine what would come out of your mouth if you actually tried to have a conversation with her.

“I just want to talk.”

You roll your eyes. The audacity. “I’ve been wanting to talk for three months, Emma.”

“I wanted to wait until we were in person.”

“You’ve been back a week, Emma. A whole week and now you think is a good time to talk. While we are at a party and we…I’m under the influence.”

Emma rolls her eyes. “I’ve been busy.”

“Fuck off.” Her eyes widen at your words. You’ve been using the word ‘fuck’ a lot lately. Before you would only use it when you were sharing private moments. Now you use it on her whenever you go from just sad and missing her to pissed that she broke up with you. She’s received quite a few ‘fuck you’ text messages from you. Apparently the shock hasn’t worn off. 

“Please just leave me alone.” You push yourself away from the wall. “Stay at the party if you want, but please don’t try to talk to me again.”

“Regina.” Emma tries to reach for you but you slap her hand away.

“You heard what I said. Don’t mess with me Emma or I’ll get Ruby to kick you out.”

You easily find Kathrine talking to some mutual friends. You join the conversation easily. Ten minutes later you watch as Emma whisper something into August’s ear before they both exit the house. You don’t know if you are relieved that she left or if you rather be tortured by knowing she’s so close yet so far.

++++

“I’m soooo happy this is our last year.” You laugh as a half awake grumpy Ruby leans against the locker next to yours. “You will never catch me signing up for morning classes in College.”

You roll your eyes. “Maybe if you would just go to sleep at a decent hour instead of staying up all night.”

“Yeah,” Kathrine walks up looking just as awake and ready for the day as you. “I’m sure Peter wasn’t talking about much anyway.”

“Hush little girl.” Ruby pushes away from the lockers, looking more awake as her eyes focus on you. “You good?”

You know what she’s referring to. You spent an hour on three-way with Kathrine and Ruby before you retired to bed. You told them how Emma had been texting you after she left the party last night. She kept apologizing and asking if you were free to talk the next day. You ignored all the messages. But she continued to text you the next day, she even called a few times. You still ignored her. You told your friends about how you had kind of felt bad for ignoring her. Even though Emma broke your heart and fled, she never ignored you. Even if she didn’t say much back, she would at least respond to your messages. Kathrine was quick to shut that thought down for you though.  
“Emma is wanting to do things on her time. Only when she feels like talking and that’s not right. You don’t owe her shit.”  
That made you feel a little better. Just a little. 

They are your best friends so you don’t even have to say anything, they know how hard today is going to be for you. There is no way to escape seeing Emma today. 

You take a deep breath before giving them an answer. “It’s going to suck but I’ll survive.”

“Okay.” Ruby moves to your right side and Kathrine the other. “Let’s get to class before I decide to go home.”You laugh and allow your friends to walk you to first period. 

It’s not until you are walking to the cafeteria for lunch that you see Emma. She’s standing outside the double doors talking to Killian Jones. You debate if you want to walk past them or not but then your stomach makes a noise that you can’t deny. 

“Hey, Mills!” Killian greets you when he sees you approaching. “I was just asking Emma where you’ve been.”

“Hi.” You give him a smile and try to walk passed but Emma moves into your way. 

“Can we talk really quick?”

“Can’t. I’m hungry.”

“Emma and I were just about to see if you and the rest of the ladies wanted to grab lunch off campus with me and the guys.”

Your eyes move back over to Emma. She shrugs. “He literally just asked me before you walked up.”

You nod. “I’m sorry. I already have plans with Ruby and Kathrine.”

“Oh okay.” Killian smiles. “Is it okay if I steal Emma away for a little then?”

“She’s free to do whatever she wants Jones.” You see the frown start to form on Emma’s face and you can’t be in that hallway any longer. You push passed them and hurry over to your friends. Kathrine gets up to get you something to eat without a word.

The rest of your day passes without another altercation with Emma. She doesn’t even message you that night.It’s not until Thursday that rumors start to spread about your break up. You know they would start soon enough. You’ve been with Emma since the middle of your 8th grade year. Your peers know you guys mostly has Emma and Regina. Only your close friends see you as the individuals that you are. So you can understand how people become curious when they don’t see you guys spending time together. You use to eat lunch together, either with your friends or sometimes just the two of you. You use to go to at least a couple of Emma’s soccer practices. You haven’t been to none since it started back up. People have noticed that there is no more Emma and Regina. You don’t blame them for being curious. But they can be curious all they want, you don’t owe them an explanation.

“Hey.” It’s not until after school that Thursday afternoon that Emma slides up to your locker.

“Hi.”

“Can we talk?”

You sigh. You don’t want to talk to her but…like what is there to even talk about. She dumped you.

“Don’t you have practice.”

“I’m ditching it.” That gets your attention. Emma loves soccer. She’s actually co-captain this year. You know how hard she worked for it. She must be really serious about this talk if she’s skipping practice for it.

“You don’t have to miss practice. Just come over after.”

You can see the tension leave her shoulder when you give her the out. But she still hesitates. “Are you sure? I don’t want to mess up your plans or anything.”

You roll your eyes. You’ve barely left your house since the breakup. There are no plans to mess up.

“I’ll see you later.”


	2. Chapter 2

Emma shows up on your door step a little after six. Your mom is just finishing up with dinner when she sees you inviting Emma in.

“Emma? I didn’t know you were joining us for dinner?” Your mom gives you a look. You’ve never discussed the breakup with her but you know she knows. Moms always know.

“Um…I’m not…I ju…”

“We are just going to talk for a minute mom. You guys don’t have to wait on me.”

“Nonsense. Emma is more than welcome to stay for dinner. It’ll be ready in ten girls.” Your mom flees the room after that, not giving you a chance to argue. You shake your head and head towards the stairs. You don’t have to look to know Emma is following you.

You get to your room and Emma closes the door behind her and follows you over to your bed. She starts to sit down next to you but with just a look she turns around and sits at her desk chair.

“So…” You say after a few minutes of silence.

“I just…” Emma takes a deep breath and really focus on you. “I know you hate me.” You don’t. “I know I’ve been a jerk and, “She just stops and looks at you.

You use to love her stare, her attention. You still do. But you don’t want too. It’s too much. You can’t handle it right now. Not with how things are between the two of you right now.

“Talk or leave.” Emma looks surprised at your words. You don’t care. You will not take them back. You will not let her play games with you.

“I’m sorry.” Your eyes roll. “I know I keep saying that and you don’t want to hear it, but I really am sorry.”

You take a deep breath and well yourself not to cry. You are so tired of those words. They don’t change anything. They don’t take away your hurt. They don’t take away this pain you feel deep down in your soul.

“Is that all?” All that hurt comes out in anger. You are tired of sitting back and letting her hurt you. Feeling sad for yourself.

“Gina,”

“I told you not to call me that.”

“I know…I…sorry.”

“Please stop.” You sigh.

You don’t know what to think. You never knew Emma to have so much trouble voicing her thoughts. She certainly had no problems getting them out when she was breaking up with you. You just want her to say what she needs to say and leave. You know that she’s not hear to beg for you back. Even though you wish she would. You know that makes you sound weak, but you can’t help it. Emma use to be your world. She kind of still is. It’s been months and you are still trying to figure out how to move on.

“Just…why are you here, Emma?”

“We’ve always been friends, Regina.” Emma starts. “This week has been weird without you.” You look away because you know the feeling but Emma doesn’t need to know that. “It sucked.”

You can’t help but to laugh. “Are you serious right now?” Emma opens her mouth to respond but you continue before she can. “You break up with me and then come to complain about how _you’ve_ had a sucky week?” You stand from the bed taking slow steps toward her. “I had a terrible summer. And do you know whose fault that was?”

Emma stands and reaches out to you. You slap her hand away.

“Do you even care?” You shove her shoulder. Did you even love me?” Another shove.

You see her eyes narrow. Not at your action but at your words.

“What?! Of course. I love you.” She grabs your wrist before you can shove her again.

“Don’t touch me.” You snatch your arm away and take several steps back.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.” Emma says quietly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

You just stare at her. You’ve never been one for physical violence, especially against Emma. But you can’t help but think about smacking her.

“Regina?”

“Why are you here? What do you want from me?”

You watch as Emma’s face falls. Her shoulders slump and she suddenly looks exhausted. She’s staring at you again. You can see the moment she realizes she’s not being fair. That it’s not fair of her to come here and say the things she’s saying.

“I’ll go.” She takes a few steps in the direction of your bedroom door.

“So that’s it?” You follow behind her. “You’re just going to leave…again?”

“This was a bad idea.”

You roll your eyes.

Emma starts to open the door but shuts it back and turns around, leaning on the door.

“Things are shit between us and that’s on me.” Emma says, this time with strength and certainty behind her words. “But I still love you and I want you in my life.”

“No.” You shake your head as your tears finally start to come out. “I can’t Emma. Not right now.”

For the next few minutes there is nothing but silence and starting between you two.

“Okay.” Emma finally says and turns and leaves your bedroom. You stay standing and listen as she declines your mom offer of dinner and hear the door close behind her.

You don’t go down for dinner. You don’t feel like putting up with your mom’s questions and sad eyes.

\---+----

“So are we going to my house?” Kathrine ask as you and Ruby follow her out to the school parking lot. “Homework and then maybe watch some movies?”

“Ew no.” Ruby comments. “It’s a Friday and we are seniors. We are not doing our homework early and staying at home and watching movies.”

“I don’t feel like going out.”

“Oh come on, Mills. We haven’t been to Granny’s together in a long time.”

Granny’s is Ruby’s grandmother’s dinner. It’s also the place high schoolers go to hangout. You stopped going to Granny’s a few months after school started back up. Everyone knew that you and Emma had broken up and you just felt awkward being there. Sometimes you would see Emma and she’d give you sad eyes that pleaded with you to talk to her but you can’t. It’s been almost two months since she came to your house and you still have no words for her.

“You can go Ruby. Don’t let me stop you.”

Ruby’s bumps shoulders with you as she’s walks over to Kathrine’s car. “But I want us to go together.” Ruby stretches the word together out, saying it real slow so you can pick up on her point.

“Ruby…leave her be.” Kathrine’s says unlocking her car doors.

You manage to make it into the back seat and put on your seatbelt before Ruby starts again.

“Look…I know we are still dealing with the Emma shit.” You smile at her words. Ruby has always been a good and protective friend. Your problems are her problems. You feel the same. “But you have to start making steps to…I don’t know. I don’t wanna say get over it but move past it. Learn from it.” She finishes with a shrug.

“I’m trying, Ruby.”

“Babe…you’re really not. “Another thing about Ruby. Her bluntness. If she cares she’s going to tell you how she really feels.

“Ruby stop.” Kathrine takes one hand off of the staring wheel to slap Ruby on the thigh. “But I do think you should stop avoiding Emma and talk to her. You are not going to feel better until you do.”

Kathrine is the voice of reason. You always can count on Kathrine to try to find a way to smooth everything out. She can be upfront like Ruby as well but most of the time she’s sweet about the way she deals with things. Just don’t push her or the people she cares about.

“I know guys.” You sigh. “But I don’t want to do that tonight.”

“Okay… so if we run into her don’t say anything. But please, can we go?”

You really are not up for a night out. But it’s you guys senior year and you don’t want to keep your friends from having a good time because they are loyal.

“Sure.”

Somehow Kathrine talks Ruby into completing a majority of her homework before we head over to the diner. Our usual booth is free, so you take it. You see no signs of Emma or her friends so you allow yourself to relax. You actually find yourself having fun.

Killian and his friends invite you guys down to the docks to hangout once it starts getting later and Granny’s is preparing to close. You follow the crowd of teenagers down to the docks.

It’s going on almost ten at night when you finally catch sight of blonde hair. Not that you were looking for it. Emma sees you and give you a smile. You look away.

Ruby catches your eyes from her spot next to Peter. She whispers something to you before walking over.

“You good?”

“Yeah.” You give a weak smile.

“I’ll kick her ass if she tries to come over here.”

You chuckle and shake your head. “I’m fine. You don’t need to do that.”

Emma stays close to her primary group of friends and you stay close to yours. You go back to talking and joking around with your friends like nothing is wrong. Like you don’t feel Emma’s eyes burning into the side of your face. But you manage to push it…her to the back of your mind. At least until she texts you.

_Can I give you a ride home?_

This isn’t the first time she’s texted you. She’s been sending you random text since that day she left your house. Most of the time its good morning or good night text or text talking about how her mom says hi. You always ignore them like you are about to ignore this one.

“Where you going?” Kathrine asks when you excuse yourself.

“Restroom. Be right back.”

You walk over to Killian’s aunts bait shop. She keeps the side door unlocked so you guys can use the restroom, which is in its own little hall. No one is to enter the main part of the shop or she’ll stop being nice and letting you guys have some place to relieve yourselves.

“Hey.” Your heart nearly jumps out of your chest when you walk back outside and hear a voice.

“Jerk.” You glare at the amused look on Emma’s face.

“Sorry.” You know she’s not. Emma use to love sneaking up on you.

You roll your eyes and walk away.

“So did you get my text? Can I give you a ride home?”

“I’m not going home. I’m going to Kathrine’s.”

“I can give you a ride there.”

“Why?”

“Seriously Regina?” Emma says frustrated. “I want to talk.”

“I gave you a chance to talk before and you wasted my time.”

“Don’t be a bitch about this.”

You stop in your tracks.

“I’m a bitch now?”

“Don’t. Don’t mix up my words like that. You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I don’t want to ride home with you tonight, Emma.” You finally talk. “We will talk. But not tonight.”

“Okay. Yeah.” Emma stands awkwardly in front of you. “Have a good night.”

Kathrine and Ruby both are there to greet you when you get back. You are sure they seen your interaction with Emma.

“Ready to drink yet?” You laugh but allow Ruby to hand you a beer.

\---+----

It’s after lunch when you are headed to your English class when you see Emma storming away from the gym.

“Hey, watch where you’re going!” Some kid yells when Emma knocks into his shoulder, causing his notebooks and Biology text book to fall.

“Fuck off!” Emma calls back without breaking her stride.

“Ooooh someone’s on fire today.” Kathrine jokes.

You resume your walk once Emma turns out of your sight.

“Let’s go.”

The next time you see Emma is when you are leaving school. She’s headed to the field. You can tell by her sagging shoulders and the way she’s walking that she’s still upset. You know all about her terrible soccer game last night. Ruby isn’t a soccer lover by any means but we are a small town and there is only so much you can do. Peter invited he, so Ruby went. She texted you while the game was in half time, telling you what a bad night Emma was having. Apparently it didn’t get any better because this morning you heard they lost and then you saw Emma clearly in a bad mood.

You don’t want to care but you can’t help it.

You make your way to the field. You look down the field and see Emma sitting on the sideline bench.

“Hey.” You say once you’ve been sitting with her in silence for more than five minutes.

She finally looks at you.

“It’s going to be okay. There are more games.”

Emma rolls her eyes and look away from you. “Scouts were at this one though. I really fucked up.”

“More games.” You mumble. You really don’t know what to say. You know Emma. You know she’s going to continue to be pissed until she feels like moving on. So you say nothing else and just sit in silence with her.

“I have to go.” You say after ten minutes. Kathrine texted you five minutes ago asking where you are at. You drove the three of you today. You don’t want to keep them waiting much longer.

“Will you come to my next game?” Emma asks as you stand.

You shrug. “I don’t know. Probably not.”

Emma nods and looks away again.

“Thanks for checking on me.” You hear Emma call as you walk away.

You don’t acknowledge that you heard her. You already gave into your weakness by coming out here, you don’t need to verbally acknowledge your weakness for her too.


	3. Chapter 3

Despite your best efforts, you find yourself at the soccer game. Emma's soccer game. 

You had successfully avoided being alone with her all week. The most you two have done is made eye contact. Emma's eyes searching for something in yours. Some kind of comfort you are not welling to give. It pisses you off that she keeps looking at you like a lost puppy. She hurt you. She does not deserve your kind words, your warmth. She gave that away months ago. 

So you do not hesitate to decline Ruby's invention to the soccer game. But Ruby somehow gets Kathrine to help gang up on you until you agree to go. You are only going because you know they are right. You need to get out more. You need to enjoy your senior year of high school and you can not do that if you stay locked up in your room, secretly, not so secretly, soaking about your break up. 

"WOOT WOOT!" You managed to look at the field just as Emma blasts the soccer ball into the back of the net. Peter and Ruby and mostly everyone in the stands are on their feet. You remain seated even though you silently are cheering in your head. 

"Emma's on fire tonight!" Peter glance at you as he makes the comment.

You hate when people do that. Anytime Emma's name is mentioned they look to you for a reaction. Like they are checking to see if it's okay to use her name. As if you will fall to pieces because she's brought up. 

"Yeah, she's playing really well tonight." You say to let Peter to know that it's okay. You will not fall to pieces. Not physically anyway. Mentally you've been scattered for months. 

The game ends in 4-1 score. Everyone is slowly making their way back to the cars as the girls soccer team finish shaking hands with the away team. You are trying to get out as soon as you can. You hate that in order to get to the parking lot you have to walk along the little gate separating the bleachers from the field. You think you have successfully avoided being spotted by Emma and you want to keep it that way. 

You happily agree to hangout a little longer with Ruby and Peter knowing that Emma is still at the school and shouldn't be coming out anytime soon. You spend a good hour at Granny's with your friends before calling it a night. 

You drive home and get a shower before getting into bed. You decided to check your phone before you pick up your book to read before calling it a night. You have three new message. Two from Emma and one from Ruby. 

Red: Thanks for coming out tonight. I hope you had fun. Good night love.

You quickly reply saying that you did have a good time and wish her a goodnight as well.

You take a deep breath before opening up Emma's messages.

Emma: Thanks for coming tonight. 

Emma: Have a good night, Regina. 

You take note of the time they were sent. Ten minutes apart. It's like Emma was waiting for you to respond and when you didn't, she gave up. You think about messaging her back but you don't. 

You can not show weakness.

\---^^^^^----

Another two weeks go bye with limited communication with Emma. You see each other in school and will greet each other if you run into one another when hanging with friends but other that, you don't speak. 

You somehow find yourself spending more time with Lily Page. You met Lily freshman year. She always been nice to you but you never did develop a strong friendship with her. You already had Ruby and Kathrine and Emma. You also knew Lily had a little crush on you and didn't want to give her the wrong idea. You had Emma. You were devoted to Emma and didn't want any complications. 

But now you don't have to think about things like that anymore. Not like it was something you thought about a lot to being with. Emma wasn't controlling or nasty to Lily. You had a heathy, honest relationship. At least you thought. 

Anyway back to Lily. One day last week she came up to you at your locker and asked if it was okay if she sat with you at lunch. She's been joining you and the girls every other day since. Lily's also been texting you but nothing crazy. Every now and than she'll say something flirty but for the most part she's just been trying to be your friend. A friend is all you need right now. 

"Thanks for having me over Mr and Mrs. Mills. Dinner was wonderful."

Tonight was the first time Lily has had dinner at your house. You introduced her to them a few weeks ago when Lily came over to study with you. But today is the first time they've actually had time to exchange more then a few words with her before you dragged her out of the room. 

Dinner went well and afterwards Lily followed you to your room to talk and watch a movie. Now she's wishing your parents a goodnight as she prepare to leave. Afterwards you walk her to her car.

"Your parents are cool." Lily says as you reach her car. She turns and leans back on the driver door while you stand in front of her.

You nod and give her a smile. "Yeah, I like them okay." You tease. 

Lily rolls her eyes. "So are you making the trip to Kent tomorrow?"

Kent is the next town over. Tomorrow is Saturday and the boys and girls soccer team have a game over in Kent. I guess the games is part of qualifying for a tournament that's coming up. Like I said, Storybrooke is a small town, not much happening. So most people go out to support the school activities or any event that's going on in the community. I know a lot of my classmates, including my two best friends, are making the trip to support the teams. 

Emma tried to talk to you a few days ago but you made up an excuse to why you couldn't stop and talk to her. She wasn't fazed by your blow off because she texted you that night to ask you to come to the game. You never responded. 

"I don't think so." You sigh. "I have some school work to get done and I'm just not feeling it."

"You sure? Grace and I are going. You could ride with us."

"Thanks but I'm set on staying home." Lily shrugs and drops the conversation. She pulls you into a quick hug before getting in her car and pulling off. 

You head back into the house, kiss your parents goodnight and head to bed. 

You are in the middle of getting comfortable in bed when there is a knock on your door. Your mom, Cora, peeks her head in. 

"Hey, what's up?" You give her a tired smile.

She takes that as an invention to come in. Your mom sits on the side of the bed by your feet. "I just wanted to check on you."

You frown. "Why? I'm fine."

Your mom sighs. 

"Look, hunny. I love you and I'm here if you ever need to talk." 

"Mom...seriously. I'm fine."

"You know...I know a thing or two about relationships." She probes some more. 

You let out a frustrated groan but other then that keep quiet, hoping she'll drop the topic and leave. You really are tired.

"Lily is a nice girl."

You toss your hands up, as if to say you give up.

"Okay, what is it that you want to know?"

"I haven't seen Emma around in awhile."

You give your mom an 'are you kidding me look'.

"That's not a question."

"I assumed that you two are no longer together."

"Again, not a question."

"Okay. So are you dating Lily now?"

"What? No." 

Your mom nods and give you a look. "Are you sure your okay?"

You start to claim that everything is okay again. But then you think about this moment. You and your mom have never been extremely close, but she's always been supportive. She didn't even blink when you told her you are gay. She accepted your relationship with Emma with no problems. Never asking too many questions and just always been there if needed. You never really went to her about anything. Not friendship issues or even your break up. Maybe you should have. You've never really have given her a chance to be more involved with your life. Maybe now is the time.

"I miss her." You admit in a broken voice. Your mom stays silently but moves her hand to hold yours. Knowing that you have her support, you continue to confess everything you've been holding in. "And I don't want to miss her. She left me. She didn't even say why mom." You let out a sob. 

Your mom is quick to pull you into her arms. "Its okay baby."

"Lily's not my girlfriend. I miss Emma."

Your mom doesn't say anything. She doesn't try to tell you your feelings are wrong or give you any advice. She just listens when you do talk and hold you as you cry. You fall asleep in her arms. 

\-----^^----

Monday morning comes and you are surprised when you walk into school and find Emma leaning against your locker. 

She straightens up when she see you approaching with Ruby and Kathrine. 

"Hey guys." She give you all an awkward wave. 

"Um okay." Ruby narrows her eyes at Emma before turning to you. "Should I tell her to get lost or what?" Ruby says as if Emma is not standing only a few feet away and can hear everything she's saying. 

You glance over at Emma before turning back to your friends. 

"I'll be fine."

Kathrine ask if you are sure and when you say yes, she grabs Ruby's hand and drags her away. 

"I need to get my books." You tell Emma when she just continues to stand in front of your locker. 

"Um...yeah, right." She moves to the side and you open your locker. You can feel her eyes on you the whole time. "I didn't see you at the game."

"I know." You respond in a bored tone.

"We did well. We won." You shut your locker and look at Emma. She's grinning. 

"I know." 

Kathrine and Ruby both texted you Saturday night. They talked about how hyped the crowed was and how both teams did well. They said the girls team did extremly well. Which is just code for Emma did extra well. 

"Well...I uh...yeah...I just wanted to say hi and maybe walk you to class."

"I can see myself to class just fine. Alone."

"Regina." Emma sighs. "Can we please just...I don't know." Emma steps closer. 

You shake your head. "Not today Emma."

You can tell Emma wants to argue but she keeps quiet. She stares at you for a few more seconds before turning to leave. 

"You know....if you text me tonight. I just might text back." You say before she completely turn away.

Emma gives you a small smile before walking away.

\-----&&\-----

"Are we still on for tonight?" 

It's the end of the school day and Lily is walking you out to your car.

"Yeah, my mom said to not be late. Dinner at 6."

"I'll be there." Lily gives you a smile and walks away, almost bumping into Ruby. "Sorry." And then she rushes away. 

Ruby gives you a look but silently gets into the car. You wait another few minutes before Kathrine finally climbs into the back seat. 

You engage in light conversation with your best friends for at least a good five minutes before Ruby blurts out the question you know she's been dying to ask.

"So what's going with you and that Page girl?"

You shrug. "We're friends."

Ruby hums and you think she's just going to let it go. But no.

"I'm sorry, but are we just going to ignore the fact you've been spending a lot of time with her? Dude... I just heard you guys planning a date at your house?"

"Wait. What?" You hear Kathrine gasp. "You're dating Lily Page? Since when?"

"I'm not dating Lily." You roll your eyes. "Ruby's being extra."

"So then what's going on? You are kind of spending a lot of time with her."

They are right about the large amount of time you've been spending with Lily.

It's been a little over a month since you cried in your moms arms. After you finished crying you guys talked a little. She told you that she was sorry to hear about your break up with Emma. Cora explained why she didn't ask you about it sooner. She talked about how you've never had a close relationship like she has with your sister. She said she felt like you've always been a daddies girl and that's okay but she does want to change that. Your mother expressed her hopes to be more involved with your life. 

She explained how it was hurting her to watch you go through the motions after the break up but not knowing how to open up the conversation. She was waiting for you to come to her but after months of waiting she gave up. 

You told her about the little conversations you've had with Emma since the break up and how hard it's been on you. You also talked about your new friendship with Lily. Your mom says she likes Lily and that she think it's a good idea to explore new friendships. You guys kept the conversation light after that. 

Since that night you've also been spending more time with your mom. Doing little things around the house with her and every now and then you guys have a good discussion about the happenings in each other's life. 

You spent almost all of Thanksgiving break hanging out with Lily. She even tagged along on a few of your outings with Kathrine and Ruby. You like spending time with her. Lily has a great personality and is always up to a day of adventure or simply relaxing around the house. She's a breath of fresh air. 

Exactly what you need right now. 

Your relationship with Lily and your mom is not the only thing that's changed. You've also been talking to Emma a little more. You guys keep the topic of discussion mostly on school and mutual friends. You've sat and talked to her in the bleachers after a few of her practices and she even came over for your dads birthday dinner last week. 

And yeah it kills you a little every day but you most admit to loving the pain.

You don't love the pain that much because neither one of you have even come close to bringing up the break up. You know once you have that conversation, there is no going back. 

"Guys, I swear we are just friends." You calmly explain. "Lily's nice and it's nice to get to know someone else." Ruby opens her mouth to make a smart ass comment but you continue before she can. "As a friend."

"Whatever you say, Mrs. Page." Ruby teases. Kathrine laughs as you reach over to punch punch Ruby on the thigh.

\-----&&&&\-----

 

You roll your eyes when your phone vibrates for the second time within minutes. Lunch started ten minutes ago and your friends have been wondering where you are at. Your chemistry teacher held you back to ask if you would be interested in tutoring. You turned the offer down. You already have too much going on right now.

You text Kathrine back before stopping by your locker to switch out textbooks before heading to the lunchroom. 

"I swear she gets the hottest chicks. Like, what the hell man." 

You roll your eyes as you walk pass Killian and his group of rowdy friends. They are always standing outside the cafeteria door, lusting over every skirt that walks by. 

"She's okay." You hear Robin say as he hands Killian back his phone. "She's not hotter than Regina. Emma could never do better than her." Robin winks at you as you push the cafeteria door open. 

You pay him no mind as your heart rate picks up. Thoughts about what they could have been looking at on Killian's phone invades your head. Why were they talking about Emma and what girl could they possibly be talking about?

You skip going to the lunch line and head right to your table. Your butt barely hits the seat before you have your hand out, pleading for Kathrine to let you see her phone. 

You deleted and blocked Emma form all your social media accounts as soon as you heard she had been in town and hadn't contacted you. You were so pissed. Even though the two of you are kind of talking now, you have yet to unblock her.

Kathrine and Ruby ask you questions as you start going through Kathrine's social media accounts. You ignore them though. You can't focus on anything but this one task right now. 

Finally you see what the guys had been looking at. Emma was tagged on Instagram with a blonde head girl. You know this girl. At least you know of her. Her name is Elsa. She's one of Emma's Boston friends. You've spoken with her on the phone or seen her when you use to FaceTime Emma over the summers when she was away at her dads. 

Elsa is no one new. But this picture is. How close Emma and Elsa are in the picture is new too. They are sitting so close that it looks like Elsa is in Emma's lap, the side of their heads pushed together as they grin at the camera. That only slightly bothers you. What really sets you on fire is the caption. It reads "missing you lots babe" with kisses and heart emoji's. 

You scroll and there are a few more pictures with them extremely close and questionable captions. 

It's only minutes after you have read the caption that you see Emma enter the cafeteria. She has a grin on her face as she laughs at something August has said.

Emma must feel your glare because she glance at your table and her smile drops into a confused frown when you make eye contact. You shake your head and hand Kathrine her phone back before getting up from the table and leaving the room. You hear your name being called as you make your way out of the school building and to the student parking lot. 

"Regina!! Dammit hold on!" You finally register Emma's voice as she grabs your elbow when you reach for your car door. 

"Don't touch me!" You turn and push her away. You can see Kathrine and Ruby making their way over. August only steps behind them. 

"What? What did I do?"

You shake your head and turn back to your car, successfully opening the door. 

Kathrine and Ruby come closer, asking if you are okay and if you want them to come with you. You shake your head as silent tears come down your face. Ugh, you can't believe you are crying. 

"What the hell is going on?" Emma grabs a hold of your door and puts herself between it before you can shut it. 

"Go away Emma." You sniffle. 

"I'm not letting you drive like this." She says softly, bending down to be eye level with you. "Just talk to me. I don't know what I did." 

You start to tell her to go away again but then something clicks inside of you. This is what you've been wanting to know. No more hiding. No more waiting. You guys need to talk. 

"Get in."

As Emma walks around the car, you address your friends. 

"It's okay." You tell them. "I'll call you guys later." You can tell they are hesitant to let you go but you give them no chance to stop you. You pull off as soon as Emma's butt hit the passenger side seat.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah...um...let me know what you think of the beginning of this story and we will take it from there. Thanks for reading!!!


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